Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
