love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
