do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
