I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
