Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I won't apologize to a one balled man
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
