your parents love me but you hate me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
