Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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