Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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