possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
