There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
