Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
