No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
