he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
