$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
