Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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