just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
