I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
