So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
