so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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