Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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