You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
