do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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