Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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