A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
