if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
