so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your penis caused this!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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