I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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