I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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