what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
