Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
