I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am naked and annoyed.
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