u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
