When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
