she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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