is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize
