I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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