He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just gift wrapped bread.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
