I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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