I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
