So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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