I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
