Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
