Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
