I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
