he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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