He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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