Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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