after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
