fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
