Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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